


The love of the dark

by NordicPrincess93



Category: Star Wars
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-11
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-09-16 06:42:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16948971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NordicPrincess93/pseuds/NordicPrincess93
Summary: Kylo ren is in love with a woman he has loved since he was 10 years old. After 20 years he’s finally found her again and she’s as perfect as the day she left





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First Star Wars story. I am a reylo shipper but I loved the idea of this story so trying to get it out as much as I can

Kylo

It had been weeks since the battle on crait, weeks since Luke had given himself fully to the force. Thanks to Rey, I had seen the co-ordinates to Ahch-To one night during one of the moments when the force bonded us. A “force bond” if you will.

She had released her mind to me, free of secrets now that Skywalker was dead. Once i had the coordinates I declared her a lost cause after she once again refused to join me then made preparations to leave straight away.

Not wanting to be disturbed I made the journey alone. I wanted to leave someone other than Hux in charge, but with Phasma gone it was quite a difficult task. In the end I left my knights in charge knowing that any issues would be dealt with proficiently.

I scoured the whole island but the only trace of skywalker i could find was a destroyed hut, neatly folded jedi robes and a single book. Deciding the book might be useful i pocketed it and left the small hut with a final glance of pure hatred for the man that once called this home.

When there was nothing left to see i returned to my fighter and started to climb in when i heard a giggle from behind me. I turned amazed to find across from me a rather stern looking creature.

I approached the creature slowly, lightsaber readied in my hand. It was a small thing, green with ears spouting out the sides of its head like the handlebars of a speeder. Around it was a strange blue hue, like as if it was almost ethereal. The creature seemed to sigh.

”Much like your grandfather you are young Solo, untrusting of others, yes?”

”I am no longer a Solo, Han Solo is dead and gone.” The creature tutted and turned, using its cane to walk it made its way to a rock and sat.

”Truely leave one does not, but stays. In our minds and heart one stays, hmm?” The creature nodded to me, i had no response except to ask:

”Who are you?” The creature chucked quietly.

”Search the book you must young solo, then find her you shall.”

”You know where she is? Tell me now or i’ll...” as i lifted my saber to strike, it flew from my hands into a nearby bush.

”Here to fight I am not young solo, here to teach, yes. Dark you are not, not yet, not fully. Only when love you lose, dark will you become, hmm” The creature nodded.

”the book?”

”Diary of Luke you have, read it you must.”

”Why are you helping me?” The creature groaned.

”The last jedi Rey is not. Galaxy must you help her save, yes”

”I will not help Rey when she refuses to help me.

”Watched you grow i have young solo, but still miss something you do.”

”Miss? What do i miss?”

”The book must you read, the girl must you find, the galaxy must you save, together must you win.” And with that he disappeared. I took time to collect my lightsaber and my thoughts before finally setting off.

————————————————

Sure enough the diary held co-ordinates to an unnamed planet small enough to be missed on even the most up to date scanners. It took me and several stormtroopers weeks to scour the planet but eventually I found her.

Not caring about the troopers behind me I dropped to my knees as i allowed a single tear to run down my cheek to get lost in the recent stubble that had taken residence on my chin.

I stared at the girl in front of me. Her tears still stained her cheeks but her face showed no pain. She was as beautiful as the day she was frozen. Her calla lily still pinned to her robes. Carbonite was a strong thing, it had kept her contained and perfect for me until the day that I could find her again.

  
The journey back to base on the new ship was a long one, so I decided to sleep but was not prepared for the dream that engulfed me.

  
I was a boy again, at only 10 years old. I could feel the light surrounding me but also the prickle of the darkness stabbing in the back of my mind. Realising it was a memory I helplessly relived that fateful day.

  
I had only known of her a few months. She was Luke’s apprentice but was considered too volatile to be around the younglings that Luke had begun to train, and so did a lot of errands for him in between her lessons whilst he taught the young ones.

Mother had just sat at her desk in the other room and so didn’t hear the small rap at the door, not wanting to be in trouble for disturbing her at work, the younger me opened the door to the most beautiful being I had ever laid eyes on.

Her eyes were the richest cobalt blue, her waist length hair was dripping honey blonde with her padawan braid resting over her shoulder. Adorning her robes was a brooch, simple in design, but beautiful to look at. She saw me looking.

”A gift from a friend, its real you know. A real calla lily dipped in pure gold.”

”why?” I felt myself ask

”I didn’t want it to die so in the dark of night i slipped into the forge and melted some jewellery of my mothers, encasing my flower in gold felt like cheating death, it’s been my good luck charm ever since”

”My grandfather tried to cheat death, he failed.”

”he obviously didn’t have enough gold” her smile was infectious and we both stood there grinning at one another. “Oh i almost forgot, I have a package for your mother from master Luke, is she here?”

”yeh she’s in-“

”Yes, i’m here, you shouldn’t be though.” I felt mother’s hand on my shoulder, a slight weight that should have felt safe.

”I’m delivering a p-“

”From my brother, i heard, i also asked him not to send you”

”i’m not dan-“

”Yes you are” I felt mother’s grasp tighten “leave, now.”

”But i have t-“

”tell Luke to send someone else”

Closing the door, mother turned to face me.

”I don’t ever want you to talk to that monster ever again, i forbid y-“

Suddenly the door flew off it’s hinges and into mother knocking both of us to the floor. Dazed, I looked just in time to see the girl with tears in her eyes and hands over her mouth in sheer shock before she ran off.

The rest of my memory of that day was a blur until evening when I escaped out of the window and ran towards Luke’s temple. I could feel the wind on my face and my bare feet on the grass as i ran. When I approached the temple I snuck in through the small hole I had created years ago in order to go in unnoticed and watch the older jedi training.

  
In the main temple i saw Luke standing over his apprentice with her padawan braid in his hand, he had ripped it from her head himself, a sign that she was no longer to be a Jedi.

  
“You don’t deserve this braid, you don’t deserve the sanctuary of this order. Your darkness envelopes you in a way not even I could imagine, darker than Vader himself”

  
“Please don’t send me away master, please, I have nowhere else to go, I am lost without this order.”

  
Luke smirked a knowing smile. “I am no longer your master” He snarled “and I’m not sending you away”

  
I screamed as Luke ignited his lightsaber and started towards the girl. My hair whirled behind me as I ran, feet slapping the stone. I threw myself in between the girl and my uncle, glaring at him as i did so.

  
“You can’t kill her, mother was being mean, mother called her a monster and upset her, she was sad, you cant kill her for being sad.”

  
“I have to Ben, she cannot control her feelings, a Jedi must control their feelings.”

  
“A Jedi can’t control everything.”

  
“Ben”

  
“You cant kill her, you just cant”

  
“Ben”

  
“It isn’t the Jedi way!”

  
“I cant allow her to be a Jedi, i cannot allow her to live, she could destroy us all, its too much power for one to control, you can’t see it yet Ben but this is the best way”

  
“There darkness in me too, does that mean you’re going to kill me?”

  
“I could never hurt you Ben, you know that.”

  
“There must be another way, please this cant be how the Jedi do things.”

  
“You don’t understand”

  
“Then help me understand, why must she die?’

  
A small voice piped up from behind me, it was filled with sadness.

  
“Because your mother was right little padawan, i am a monster, i could have seriously hurt you today and i will never forgive myself for that”

  
I turned to face her, trying to show the same kindness on my face that she had shown me only hours earlier “Well I forgive you”

  
Tears pricked her eyes, turning back to face Luke I caught sight of my father standing not too far away, his face angry and embarrassed, he never understood me even then. Looking at Han i remembered hearing the story about when he was trapped in carbonite. 

  
“Carbonite” I gasped

  
“Carbonite?” Asked Luke obviously confused.

  
“Like dad, carbonite” Luke finally understood and went quiet as he thought.

“It could work”

  
I was elated and turned to the girl with a smile, she returned my smile with a small one of her own but it was filled with sadness.

  
Luke made his decision and arranged transport with his newly appointed apprentice. As Luke took her past me, i managed to squeak out words of encouragement.

  
“I’ll find you, i promise to find you”

  
“I hope so little padawan, i really hope so”

  
And with that she was gone and I awoke to the ship approaching my new star destroyer instead of the base, this was odd but didn’t phase me, i cared more about shaving my face. 

—————————-

 

Finally landing in the transport bay, I barked commands to anyone that would listen. Med droids took the girl to check her over whilst I demanded to know why we wern’t on base. Hux seemed to appear in front of me, cocky as ever he proudly exclaimed.

”why supreme leader, i almost mistook you for a stowaway”

”no time for jokes Hux, why aren’t we on the base.”

”Rebel attack sir”

”There’s no way they had the numbers for that.”

”Actually sir the past few weeks has seen quite the rise in their numbers and their allies.”

”Give me an hour to freshen up then call the board”

”They’re already awaiting you supreme leader, we were discussing a possible battle strategy before you arrived.”

————————————

Two hours later I was finally clean shaven and feeling like myself as I made my way to the med bay. The meeting had been quick thanks to me proposing the girl as a final solution. She was my secret weapon and finally she would be released.

Walking through the medbay doors I laid eyes on her and for the first time felt happiness. A sudden surge in the force squashed that happiness as i laid eyes on someone else.

”Not now, Rey.”

”you know as well as i that I don’t control this”

”well maybe i just found the key to stopping all this” she seemed sad about that but it was only a fleeting moment.

”what did you find?”

”Her” I gestured unsure of whether Rey could see my surroundings but the look on her face showed me that she did in fact see the frozen girl in front of her.

”what happened to her?”

”Luke skywalker happened to her.” She was shocked “the carbonite was admittedly my idea, but it was that or...”

“He wouldn’t have”

”he nearly did, i had to put myself between them”

”well what makes her so bad?”

”you’ll see” I smirked as Rey disappeared.

Back in her room Rey fidgeted, she had to tell Leia he had found the girl, the one who Leia had said was the darkest creature in the galaxy, thanks to her master.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She’s finally awake, let’s see what kind of mischief she can get up to now

Her POV

Heat, that was the first thing i could feel. It seemed to burn right down into my core. The cold air hit my body and i welcomed the chill. The sudden weight of my body was too much for my newly awakened legs to handle and i dropped to the cold metal floor with a crash.

Shaking i tried to stand but i ended up sat in a heap with the cold seeping through my jedi robes. Opening my eyes i looked around but all i could see was darkness.

“Someone needs to turn the lights on, i cant see”

A warm voice answered me, it was deep and full of sadness

“The lights are on, blindness is a side effect”

“I know, this isn’t the first time I’ve been awoken from carbonite, I was trying to make light of the situation.”

The silence that followed was too much for me so i broke it with yet another pathetic attempt at humour.

”So master Luke finally decided to let me go? Or is this an escape attempt?”

”Luke Skywalker?” I nodded “he’s dead”

I felt so many feelings surge through me at once i became overwhelmed. Sadness, happiness, relief, freedom. I was free of Luke Skywalker and for that i was elated but i was also so disheartened at the fact that i never got to show him that i wasn’t as dark as he thought i was.

 

“Was it painful?”

”I wouldn’t know, i wasn’t the one that killed him.”

”do you know how he died?”

”he went into the force”

”coward”

”how so?”

”going into the force is the easy way out, it’s dishonourable, my master taught me that”

”I’m guessing Luke wasn’t your only master”

”Luckily for me he wasn’t” i paused before asking “what happened to his precious temple and jedi then?”

”I personally burned it all to the ground and killed every jedi in sight” I smiled and giggled “what’s so funny?” The deep voice said

”I’m laughing at the fact that no matter how hard i try to be good i always find myself back in the hands of darkness”

”Why were you trying to be good?”

”I didnt want to end up like my first master, I’m too pretty to be cut in half” i sassed, flipping my hair over my shoulder.

A low chuckle came from right in front of my face as a leather clad hand softly lifted my chin. I could feel his gaze. I wondered if i should make some sort of witty remark when i felt a strange new force sweep across my mind, it seemed to take away my shaking and a sense of calm washed over me. It was gentle and soft but also strong, a force not to be reckoned with, much like a Wookiee.

I heard another soft chuckle.

“Did you just compare me to a Wookiee?”

I stifled a giggle, he didn’t seem to mind my amusement.

“Come on” he said, lifting me slightly by the shoulders. “I have a few med droids i need you to meet before i let you in on my plan.”

“I knew there was a catch”

“Excuse me?” He was clearly taken aback by my bluntness.

“There’s always a catch, you just released me from imprisonment, there’s clearly something you need from me.” A strange boldness replaced my curiosity. “I’m guessing you know who i am considering you knew that i would be happy to hear about skywalker’s death, you also revealed that you were the one responsible for the downfall of his precious jedi order. You told me this because you knew it would make feel like i could trust you. Where there’s trust there’s an alliance. You obviously need my trust and my alliance because you need my help, you would only free me if you knew how i could help.”

“Makes sense, i have a jedi problem.”

“Okay, you just told me that you killed all the jedi, which one is it?”

“Let’s discuss this after you have been checked over by the med droids.”

——————-

After i had been scanned and prodded by what sounded like machines i was redressed. I made sure they attached my lily brooch before i was escorted by two men wearing really heavy armour to a room with a chair. In front of me came the most delectable smells i had ever smelt in my whole life.

“Let’s get down to business, eat and talk, it saves time.”

Suddenly i realised that i could see dark fuzzy shapes, using this i navigated my way around the food in front of me, whilst he spoke.

“I myself was trained by Luke Skywalker, my parents entrusted me to him when they still believed that they could save me from the darkness rising inside.” I nodded, Luke also believed he could save me too, he was wrong.

“Keep going, my sight is coming back slowly and then i will 100% give you all my attention.”

“That’s good to hear.” I saw his dark fuzzy outline shift a little before he spoke again. “After i destroyed his temple and his pride he exiled himself to an unknown planet and for years we searched, both the resistance and the first order searched for years until one day a scavenger from Jakku saw the map that lead to him and i thought i could procure it from her mind.”

“Well that would have been simple enough, just a scavenger.”

“I thought so too, but somehow she tapped into my mind, blocked me from the map and tried to seduce me, she failed on the last part but she made off leaving me on an exploding planet. She had somehow got hold of Skywalker’s lightsaber and was wielding it as her own.”

I was too shocked to respond so i just stared at his dark shape as he slowly started to come into focus.

“My master had somehow connected us mentally from that moment on, if anything hurts me, it hurts her, if i die, she dies. A force bond, rare but true.

“You need my help to get rid of it?”

“And then kill her”

“I can’t kill her, she’s done nothing to offend or hurt me in any way, to me she is innocent”

“Fine” he sounded defeated “you release us from the bond and then I’ll kill her before she kills me”

“Now that i can do.”

“How?”

“Oh its quite hard to explain, you say your master tied the two of you together, well i will need to personally go into each of your minds and release the bonds that tie you”

“You can do it?”

“I have done it only once before, the strain nearly killed me”

”killed you?” He sounded distressed by this

”nearly, I’m tough” i gave a smile to back up my confidence

“How long will it take?”

“A few months I think” and with that he finally came into focus. He was dressed all in black with shoulder length black hair and dark forlorn eyes that seemed to stare right into my soul. Down his face was the slight hint of a scar, healed but obviously deep.

”you think?” He didn’t seem impressed by that he was frowning, his dark brows furrowed.

“Did Skywalker do that to you?” He touched his face softly before answering

“No, she did” he seemed saddened that i had mentioned it

“I like it, gives you an edge”

His eyes met mine and for a second that gentle force swept across me again, he must have seen that i meant it because he smirked at me.

“It’s late we should get to bed, I’ve arranged a room close to mine in case if any emergencies”

“If you say so boss”

we stood and made our way to the door, he held it open for me and seemed to stare at my hair as i went past. I stopped to touch it whilst a gloved hand gently touched an patch of hair behind my ear.

”id almost forgotten about that”

”did it hurt, losing your braid?”

”How did you know ab-“

”i was there that day”

”So thats how you knew i would like skywalker killed?”

he slightly nodded. I reached up and gently kissed him on the cheek.

”thank you for un-freezing me”

he walked me to my room in silence and gestured to a door

“this is your room and opposite is mine”

”You really meant it when you said we would be close” we both smirked at that “Hopefully you don’t shed too much Wookiee man” we both laughed at that, after a short pause i held out my hand ”i would introduce myself but I don’t-“

” You don’t have a name, i know. Maybe we can find you a name together?”

”i’d Like that” with that he took my hand and instead of shaking it, he lifted my hand to his lips and pressed a soft kiss to my knuckles. As he lowered my hand he stared into my eyes and spoke.

“Oh and considering we’re doing introductions, my name is Kylo ren, I’m the supreme leader of the galaxy and the last dark side force user in existence” with that he released my hand and disappeared through his bedroom door.

I had no witty response for that. I had called the leader of the galaxy a hairy Wookiee and had been flirting with him all evening, maybe i was dark after all.

——————————————

Rey

After Kylo and the frozen girl faded out of sight i bounded out of the falcon and up the stairs towards our new base.

We had made the journey to Ahch-to after a scout informed us that Kylo had left with nothing but a tattered old book. I had come to like my time with Luke on this Island and so made it our temporary home.

I passed Finn and Rose building a new hut for themselves with help from the caretakers, I passed Poe and Chewie trying to get an old communicator to work in order to contact for support. I passed them all and ran to the temple on the top of the hill.

General Leia had liked the idea of us being here because she felt like she was closer to the force. Running into the main temple I found Leia directing a group of force sensitive children we had picked up on canto bight, Finn and Rose were determined to save them and Chewie and i were happy to oblige.

”Leia, I need to talk to you”

”Good evening master Rey” Chorused the children. I blushed, I was nowhere near master status but I was the closest thing to a jedi these kids had ever seen, so I indulged their games and gave them a nod before sending them to bed.

”up with the dawn tomorrow please guys”

”yes master Rey” came the reply as they all scurried out of the room. Leia approached me with a warm smile.

”They remind me of the children Luke used to train before...” She trailed off remembering harder times

”Leia, I have really bad news”

”what could be worse than hearing my son is the new supreme leader of the galaxy?”

”Sorry again”

”it’s not your fault Rey, now what is your news?”

”He found her”

”who found who now?”

”Kylo” Leia visibly flinched at the name “He found the girl, the one you told me about, the one in carbonite.”

Leia’s face turned from one of confusion to one of fear before putting her general mask on and barking orders at anyone that would listen. Pack up, collect the children, someone find Chewie, fetch me Poe and Finn, get everyone else onto the falcon.

”Rey help everyone to pack up the falcon, we are not safe here, don’t talk back, don’t question me, we need to go and see a friend of mine, he has the contingency plan”

”we’re going to him now? We’ve been without help for months and you suggest this friend now?”

”Rey this is the ultimate emergency, who knows what he will make her do.” I nodded and started to turn before asking what was probably a stupid question.

”what if there’s good in her?”

”Rey, you’re so trusting and pure, she trained with one of the darkest sith lords in the galaxy. There will be no kindness and no remorse in that girl’s heart.”

I nodded again and did as i was told.

——————————————

Arriving at a peculiar looking ship, i landed the falcon and went with Chewie, Leia and Poe to speak to this “friend”. The man in question was white haired and walking on a cane, his clothes were so bright i swear i had never seen such colours before.

Extending his arms for a hug he smiled as Leia embraced him.

”It’s been too long my princess” I assumed it had been really long considering Leia was a general now.

”Lando, these are my friends, you of course know Chewie” Chewie growled and embraced Lando as carefully as he could. Leia continued.

”and this is Finn and Poe, Poe is one of my best pilots and Finn is an ex stormtrooper” Lando started to ask a question but Leia stopped him. “No time to get into it, and this” she finally gestured to me “is the jedi Rey, she’s the new pilot of the falcon”

”pilot?” Lando was confused “but where’s Han?”

A few hours later the rest of the resistance were all settled in their own bunks. After putting the children to bed i made my way to the meeting room. Explaining what had happened to Han was difficult but Leia, Finn, Chewie and I had managed it with only a few Wookiee tears being shed. After pouring us warm drinks Lando had informed us of the plan that he, Luke Han and Leia had created over 20 years ago.

Freezing the girl had not been the final option, killing her was, but after seeing the determination in his nephew’s face, Luke knew that killing her would break Ben’s heart and send him even faster into the dark side.

Luke knew that one day Ben would find her and unleash her onto the galaxy but he had also seen a future where her light and the light in his nephew’s heart would unite to save the galaxy.

Lando provided a safe space and an army able to move at a moments notice and for over 20 years everyone waited.

Suddenly we recieved word of the supreme leader’s base being attacked by the resistance from a breathless young man. Leia was furious.

”we in no way have the means or the stupidity to do such a thing, who the hell would do this to us.”

”I think i know” admitted Lando “but you ain’t gunna like it”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A steamy workout sesh leaves everyone speechless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope someone reads and likes these

The girl

When i awoke there was no sun to greet me at my window, i was used to waking with the dawn and training until i couldn’t feel anything. I made a mental note to ask Kylo how long i was gone.

I didnt have to wait long, he met me at my door and could sense the question i was burning to ask.

“20 years”

“What?”

“You were gone 20 years”

To say i was shocked was an understatement, i was distraught at how much i had missed but kylo had planned for that. He had cancelled all his plans for the day and sat with me in an observation room answering all my questions. Food was brought to us by what i learned were storm troopers.

“When i was little they were clones” i told him.

“Clones?”

“Yeh all of them, ordered by the jedi, they fought for the jedi too.”

“Well that was one thing i wasn’t told.” He paused as we passed a small cluster of stars “tell me about your parents”

“You never told me about yours why should i tell you about mine?” I playfully jibed, but his face turned cold for a split second and i knew i had crossed a line. “You don’t have to tell me, i just hope they were better than mine”

“Probably not”

We sat in silence for a little while longer before he spoke again.

“I searched for you for years and now you’re here i cant even talk to you about things because I’m...” he broke off as a stormtrooper entered.

“Sir, sorry to interrupt but Hux has just come back from his mission, he has asked to speak to you privately.”

“Send him here” was the short blunt response.

“Should i leave?” “No” came the reply.

After a short silence a thin ginger haired man entered the room and stared at me before speaking

“Another girl for your collection Ren, stacking up quite the number aren’t you. Let’s just hope this one doesn’t scar you like the last. Hmm rather attractive I suppose, want to share?” Suddenly he started to choke as some invisible force lifted him into the air for a few seconds before dropping him back onto the cold metal. He was gasping for air and pointing at kylo. “You’re my witness girl, he just tried to kill me!!”

Lifting his hands kylo smirked at Hux and calmly stated “it wasn’t me”

Slowly both men turned their attention to me and i just gave my cheekiest most defiant smile and waved at Hux. Kylo suddenly exploded into laughter that I’m sure had never been seen before. Hux was furious and tried his best to scare me.

“Ill have you killed you little wench, you’re nothing just like that scavenger, you’re worthless, a monster, you’re just-“ his words were cut off with his air as once again he was lifted off his feet, his eyes bulged with fear as i held up my hands and stated “its not me”

I felt the anger before i saw it. Bloodthirsty rage enveloped me as i turned to look at kylo, his face exuded pure hatred at the little man who was now slightly purple. I decided enough was enough, I couldn’t stand the smell of death.

“Kylo, you can let him go now, i think he gets it” he couldn’t hear me. “Kylo let him go, you’ll kill him!!” I focused all my energy and sent it into kylo, doing something i vowed i would never do again. I took over his body.

Releasing kylo’s hand for him i managed to save Hux just in time. Then i used his hand only once more to gesture to the stormtrooper to remove Hux before kylo got any control back. Slowly exuding as much calm as i could i drifted out of kylos body, as soon as i was myself again my vision went black and the last thing i felt was the cold metal floor hitting my head.

A few hours later i had a woken to med droids scanning me once again, they gave me the okay to leave and i quietly made my way to my own room. Passing kylo’s door i felt the need to knock and apologise but a sudden wave of fear washed over me and i thought better of it.

———————————

The next morning I dressed in the same garments i was dressed in the day before and opened my door. Directly across the hall was Kylo’s door, i decided against knocking once again and instead made my way down the hall following a delectable smell when suddenly the force signature i now recognised as kylo crossed my mind.

“Take a left here and then second door on your right”

Ever the trusting apprentice i followed orders and found myself in a training room. Glancing at the movement to my right i saw kylo in a low cut pair of leather trousers and a fitted long sleeve black top. He was sweating profusely and his hair was soaked with it. Lifting his arms i caught a glance at the muscles under his shirt, he had the most perfect v lines.

I realised i was in trouble.

I quickly blocked my mind off from him and walked over to where he was striking a practice dummy with his fists.

“Good morning” i said cheerfully planting a smile on my face. He turned slightly to glare at me then returned to the dummy. He was clearly still miffed about my intrusion yesterday.

“You’re late”

“For what?”

“Training”

“You never said there would be training”

“You’re still late”

“Well let’s make up for lost time then” i said grinning as i removed the jacket that i had been provided and tucked in my gray tank top. Making my way to the corner of the room i sat in meditation pose to clear my mind.

“What are you doing?”

“What does it look like I’m doing?”

“Skywalker isn’t training you anymore, you don’t have to try to impress him”

“I’m impressing myself by doing this pose in these leather trousers, how do you cope?” I protested and shuffled a little to show my discomfort “I’d like to make a request to your tailor, i only work in shorts or dresses, i hate having my legs covered fully.”

“My tailor?”

“Oh there has to be someone who makes the clothes on this ship?” He looked puzzled for a second before speaking.

“You know i never really thought about it, my clothes just appear on the end of my bed, whether I’m sleeping in it or not.”

“Well that just sounds delightful.” I stated sarcastically.

“Like i said, we aren’t being trained by Luke anymore we don’t have to worry about washing or fixing our meagre clothing.”

“I guess, now, unlike you i like meditating before training, so butt your beak out” i smiled during that last part to show i was teasing then closed my eyes before he could retort

I focused on my breathing and felt the wave of light pass over me, after a minute or so kylo started his usual mind probing, i could feel his frustration when he couldn’t get in so i created a small window and let him share what i was sensing.

For a while we sat there listening to the force and feeling it wash over us when i felt something pulling me, it was strong. I decided to investigate and allowed it to pull me in a little more. The more it pulled the more i started to feel drained, it was like whatever was pulling me was pulling my force from inside me, i panicked and tried to pull away but it held me there.

I must have showed signs that something was wrong because suddenly i could feel kylo reaching out to me, he was worried, no he wasn’t worried, he was frightened. Kylo was beyond scared of whatever it was that was pulling me, that made me try to pull away harder.

“Kylo”

“It’s alright I’m here i wont let him hurt you”

“Him?”

“It’s okay”

“No its not kylo, I’m really scared it wont let me go.”

“I’m right here, I’ve got you”

That’s when the flashbacks started. Luke Skywalker standing over me lightsaber poised to strike.  
My mother watching me as i sunk from her sight.  
Vader choking me when he realised i wasn’t dark enough to be his apprentice, i felt the air leaving me i barely had enough breath to scream.

“KYLO!!” Suddenly i was physically lifted into the air and pulled against something warm but firm, i was being held so tight i was sure i would be squashed. I released the barrier i had put up against him earlier and felt calm once again wash over me. I realised for the first time i was safe.

Finally able to open my eyes i was faced with the crook of kylos neck he smelt of something that i just couldn’t put my finger on. Turning my head i saw his big black eyes scanning mine, there was a single tear forming under his right eye and as it fell it traced his scar. Without even thinking i reached up to wipe it away, he flinched at the touch and suddenly i was hit with a range of emotions, all of which were my own, but the one that was strongest was the anger.

I was angry at this scavenger for trying to kill him, i wanted to tear her hair from her head like my braid was ripped from me. I wanted to break every last bone in her body and cover her in scars that would leave her begging for death, but i wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of the welcome escape of death. I would keep her alive and keep her hurting until the day i die. I would relish her pain.

———————————-  
Kylo POV 

She was finally in my arms but for all the wrong reasons, she was being pulled towards the memories i had of Snoke, her fear felt like mine and i realised i was the only one who could save her, but she had blocked me out, only allowing a small part of my help, I couldn’t get to her, not this way so i did the only thing i could think of. I pulled her into my lap, her honey blonde hair close enough for me to finally touch after all these years. I held her tight and stroked her head sending as much calm as could until she finally plucked up the courage to look at me, her eyes full with tears. She reached up and stroked my scar, everything was perfect until suddenly she was angry.

Her adoring gaze turned to hatred and her cobalt eyes flashed red. She lept off me and started pacing.

“Did i do something wrong?” I asked, she projected her blunt answer in my head only one word. “Kill’

I pointed at the dummy and as soon as i did it flew across the room. She leaped onto it and started tearing it apart piece by piece, her anger slightly diminishing as she finally tore its head off and into shreds. That’s when she finally spoke.

“Fight me”

“Now?” Her glare was all i needed. I used the force too pull two training batons out of the barrel and threw one to her, she wasted no time.

She advanced and it took all of my strength to avoid her, her technique was flawless as she backflippped, high kicked and even dropped into the splits to both attack and defend. She was astounding, mesmerising. Not once did i manage to hit her and no once did she drop her strength. She never faltered, until she hit me.

The side of my head was suddenly on fire where she had almost knocked me senseless, i dropped to my knees and held my hands out to steady myself. She threw away the training stick and dropped to her knees beside me. Tears pouring she held my face in her hands and checked me all over. I wasn’t bleeding and the pain had started to dull but she was distraught. I suddenly understood why Luke was so frightened of her, she was a demon brought to life, as angelic as the daylight but as dangerous as the night. She was perfect.

Once again i pulled her into my chest and we held each other like that until the sound of her stomach gurgling made me realise the time.

I stood lifting her with me and together we walked to the observation deck. We ate lunch in silence and when the time came for me to return to my other duties, i gave her a key to both the training room and my personal library.

She had had my heart since the day i first saw her all those years ago, but what made others fear her only made me love her more. Her darkness made her perfect for me and i was determined from that moment on that I wouldn’t stop until she was mine.

———————————————

Rey

after spending the morning training what Leia called the younglings, i freshened up and headed to the falcon to only be met with a stowaway in my cockpit.

Lando sat in the captain’s chair stroking a porg, i had grown to like them and kept them as pets on board. He was talking about his life, but there was nobody else there. Clearing my throat as softly as i could i interrupted him.

”sorry mr calrissian, i just wanted to do some checks in case of an emergency.” He stroked the porg in his lap listlessly and nodded to me.

I started my checks and decided to make some light conversation. 

“Who were you talking to?”

”The ship, she has a consciousness you know?”

”Really?”

”Han never told you about L3?”

”No i never knew him long enough, could you tell me?” I sat in the co pilot chair to look him in the eyes.

”Of course i can, hold on to your seat, this is the greatest story you will ever hear”

—————————————

A few hours later we bid each other our goodbyes and made our ways accross the launch bay to our bunks only to be interrupted by an alarm, we were under attack.

The ship shook and groaned it was built for leisure, not for battle. I ran to where i had last seen Leia, barging past screaming women and children trying to find cover.

Sure enough Leia was on the bridge with the captain discussing the best escape strategy. The ship had no light speed and only limited furl due to its slow descent to the planet below.

”it’ll be landing a lost faster if we don’t do something.” Shouted Leia, Her dominence and age greater than that of the young captain.

”Leia, want to evacuate on the falcon?” I asked

”No there are too many on board and not enough time”

”Are there bombs on board?” Interjected Poe. “We could take some of the small fighters we have and plant a bomb on the main ship”

”Main ship?” I stupidly asked. Poe answered anyway

”they aren’t coming from the planet below, there has to be some sort of ship behind us”

Leia turned to the captain. “Show me behind us”

The captain flicked a switch on the board and the scanners showed a large mass of ships not too far behind them. Lando entered waving his cane.

”It’s the ones i told you about, the ones that attacked the first order, now they’re after us.”

”calm down Lando” demanded Leia “Poe, can you fly something this big?”

”I can try”

Sure enough Poe took the controls and punched in a few digits for the override spoken by the captain. Suddenly the ship sprang to life and jolted towards the planet below. Weaving and dodging trees and other life on the planet, Poe parked up the ship in the port behind an even bigger ship, as if hiding.

the captain gave the all clear for passengers to disembark and to have a wonderful day then gave Leia the speaker for her to give orders to her men.

”My lot to our ship and be quick about it”

Sure enough by the time we got back to the falcon everyone was present. Leia addressed everyone and we were not expecting what she said.

”everyone needs to go with Rey and Chewie, she is captain of the falcon and will be treated with respect, I’m leaving Poe in charge with Finn as advisor. Poe you can chose the rest of your crew later.”

Poe nodded and Leia continued.

”I will be staying with mr calrission in order to execute the plan that we have but i need you lot to act as if I’ve passed and i need you to have a memorial for me.” There were murmers and shouts of outrage but Leia hushed them all with a wave of her hand.

”this will put the first order off my scent, go back to Ahch-to, take a few of lando’s men with you and stay safe.” Everyone stayed where they were in shock. “Well, thats an order, off you go”

Everyone slowly made their way with their luggage onto the falcon as Leia, Poe, Finn, Chewie and I made our goodbyes. Leia spoke only one last time before waving us off

”This is probably the last time I will see you all so please take care of each other and stay safe. May the force be with you”

As I flew the falcon away from the ship, Wookiee howls added to my despair, tears flowed freely down my cheeks and my voice shook as I whispered “punch it Chewie”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Omg such wow, much love

Kylo

I spent the rest of the day thinking about her eyes how easily they shifted to red, i still had no idea what made her so angry but it was a magnificent sight.

Lost in thought I almost missed what Hux was saying, pulling myself back into the conversation he had mentioned a memorial

“Say that again, a memorial?”

“Yes, if you were listening Ren i was talking about the memorial i witnessed for the resistance general”

“The general but that’s-“ i felt my heart drop, bile was rising in my mouth and i felt like i was going to vomit “general organa?”

“What other general do they have Ren? What has she got to do with you anyway? She’s dead, the resistance is ours for the taking.”

I wanted to choke hux but first i needed time. “Where’s the girl, the one we rescued?”

“Sir” answered a stormtrooper “she’s in your library, I walked her there myself”

I had never felt myself run so fast in my life, dodging took too long i was just force throwing everyone out of my way.

Barging into the library i spotted her curled up in the corner holding a mug of something warm, she was surrounded by stacks of books. When she spotted me she unravelled herself from a black blanket, set down her mug and approached me slowly.

“Kylo, is everything okay?” I didn’t know how to tell her without telling her who i really was. I simply just shook my head.

She took my hand and led me towards the corner and draped what i realised was one of my cloaks over the two of us. She nuzzled into my shoulder and we just sat there in silence until I couldn’t take it anymore.

“General Leia Organa is dead” i told her, she audibly gasped next to me and i turned to see her hand over her face and tears in her eyes. I did the only thing i could think of and put my arm around her shoulders. She started to shake slightly so i held her a little tighter.

“Why does her death make you sad?” She asked so innocently.

“I wanted to be the one to kill her? I asked

“Is that what you want me to think?

“No, i was in the academy too, i knew her personally, she is- was, a great woman.”

“She was incredible, i wished at one point that she was my mother” with that more tears fell from her eyes. We sat in silence allowing grief to consume her, she was too precious, my mother was awful to her yet she still mourned the loss of life.

“I nearly killed her once”

“ i know”

“It was an accident” she sobbed

“I know, i was there remember?” I felt her nuzzle into my neck “i heard what ben said about you, he was so upset, it was then i realised the jedi were wrong” she sniffed and was starting to calm a little until

“Who will tell ben?” She gasped. Knowing she couldn’t see me, i smirked, even in her own sadness she thought of others, of me.

“I’m sure he knows” she paused before asking

“What about Han?” I stiffened, of course she didnt know.

“Did you know Han?” She sighed

“Not personally, but my mother and he grew up together on the streets of corellia, she told me stories of their adventures and then she told me the story of the kessel run, 12 parsecs, the millennium falcon, a jailbreak, a monster, a steamy kiss and a Wookiee to tie it all together” this threw me

“Your mother told you about that? How did she know about the kessel run?”

“Because she was there” with this i turned to look at her. “You seem shocked”

“Your mother was-“

“Yeh she was, is, I don’t know anymore. But she had what sounded like the most wonderful adventure, she must not have thought so because she betrayed him” she had again shocked me

“How did she betray him?”

“They were preparing to fly off together into the sunset after they had all saved a whole civilisation, celebrating their victory Han went to get Chewie from the planet below. My mother took this opportunity to escape and contact the empire with news. She abandoned him on the planet with Chewie and a lot of rare fuel, there was no remorse when she told me that story. She thought what she had done was right.”

“You didn’t think what she did was right?”

“I don’t think she even truly loved him. I would always choose love over power.” she looked at me with those big blue eyes and i just wanted to dive right into them. “I had grown up cherishing that story of Han Solo and the millennium falcon and when things in my life started to get bad, i hoped that maybe Han and Chewie would swoop down in the falcon and fly me far away”

“Han solo was no hero”

“He was to me” i waited for the ball to drop “wait, was? He’s dead too?” I couldn’t tell her. “Kylo, tell me how he died”

“I can’t he was your hero, you cared very much for him.”

“Yes when i was a child. He was horrid to me when i became Luke’s apprentice, he always walked out of the room whenever i walked in and he used to say the most awful things about me, especially when i was within hearing range”

“So you hated him?”

“No, i was just sad that someone i had dreamed of meeting, hated my very existence.”

“I’m sorry that you never got the chance to make him understand you.”

“Why would you be sorry? It’s not like you were the one that killed him” she once again looked into my eyes, straight into my soul but i couldn’t look back. “Kylo?”

“I’m sorry” i whispered. There was a tense silence before she spoke

“I want to ask why but I’m sure you had your reasons”

“I didn’t plan it”

“What about the falcon? Do you have it? Can i fly it?” There was joy and excitement in her eyes

“It’s not with me, its with Chewie” she hung her head “and the scavenger Rey” she once again looked back at me and her eyes once again flashed red “how do you do that?”

“What?”

“Make your eyes go red?” She blushed at this.

“You noticed huh?”

“They’re incredible”

“You actually like my eyes?”

“I like everything about you” that came out before i could stop it, her response was to giggle

“Are you flirting with me supreme leader?”

“Only if it makes you feel happy?”

“What? Flirting with me? If you really wanted to make me happy you’d let me be the one to kill the scavenger so that i can have the falcon” she batted her eyelids in a jokey over the top way and i was so taken with her the the words just slipped out of my mouth.

“Anything for you sweetheart” i clapped my hand over my mouth and glanced down, i sounded like my father. I was the supreme leader of the galaxy, the grandson of Darth Vader and this woman was tearing me apart.

The silence was deafening, she pulled my hand away from my face and put her forehead to mine, forcing my head up with hers.

“Anything?” She whispered.

“For you” i gulped.

Just then a stormtrooper came around the corner and only had time to blurt out “sir-“ before he dropped to the ground. She hadn’t taken her eyes off me but i knew it was her, she had knocked him unconscious for interrupting us.

She smiled a slow smile the same time as me and lightly brushed her lips against mine. So soft and over so quickly. She pulled away slowly and agonisingly got up and stood next to the unconscious trooper.

“He had something about the resistance to tell you”

“How did you k-“ she tapped her head, she could sense it. Of course she could.

“What have they done now?”

“I don’t know, everything is cloudy, like he’s brainwashed or something, he isnt really sure of what’s real anymore. A horrible way to live”

I kept my mouth shut, if she knew that we brainwashed our troopers every year since they were children, she’d never speak to me again, let alone kiss me.

I decided to go and find out what the problem was and gestured for her to come with me. She folded up my cape and threw it back into the corner. As we were walking she had to take two steps for my long strides, i took her hand and walked at an easier pace for her to keep up.

“So did you think of a name for me?”

“Not yet” i admitted “I’m still waiting for the perfect one”

“I hope you think of one soon” i turned to look at her, stopping our walk

“i promised you i would find a name for you”

“I know you’ll find one Kylo” she leaned in to whisper “how else are you going to scream my name in bed” she leaned back, looked me directly in the eyes, winked, giggled and skipped away.

I could feel my heart trying to beat out of my chest, I was in serious trouble with this girl, and I liked it.

———————  
Her POV

What the actual chuff was I doing?! Flirting with the supreme leader of the galaxy just because he looked at me with those deep eyes that made me want to throw myself into his arms and kiss him again? I didn’t even try to stop myself falling in. Everything about him made me never want to leave his side, even his force signature made me feel light headed.

This man was killing me, he was trouble, but I liked the danger, I never wanted my time with him to end.

I had skipped to my own room instead of going to the meeting. I had had enough excitement for one day and felt sweaty, so stripped off and headed to the fresher.

Stepping into the steamy stream I deeply washed my hair, and took my sweet time doing so. Hot water was a luxury i had never had before so i was determined to make as much of it as possible. Despite the sound of the water hitting the floor it was quiet, so i decided to hum my favourite lullaby, which quickly turned into me singing it, and for the first time in a while i thought of Gilda.

Growing up the way i had, the only care and love i ever received was from Gilda the cook. She always wore white and had her hair cut short to save her from wearing hair nets. She always made sure i ate a meal after a full day training with my master and would always sing the sweetest songs while i ate. One day i sang along with her and we both enjoyed ourselves so much we didnt hear my mother enter the kitchen. The silence was sudden and deafening but it wasn’t quick enough. Mother dragged me out by my hair, i kicked and screamed much to the distress of Gilda who had started to cry.

The next day my master trained me harder than ever before. Exhausted, i headed to the kitchen for my evening meal to find Gilda with a black eye and a cut lip. I asked her if she was okay and her only response was to open her mouth. Mother had made a point to inform my master about me being mislead from my dark path and his response was to forbid me from hearing kind words and sweet songs for the rest of my life, and he thought the only way to ensure that was to cut out Gilda’s tongue. So that’s what he did. But that didnt stop the kindness.

For years after that, Gilda always welcomed me with open arms and a kiss on the forehead. I made a point to write a song for her. She never got to hear it.

I suddenly realised i was accidentally sending out my feelings and memories to kylo. I made sure to let him know i was sorry for disturbing him. He gave no response.

I got out of the water stream and switched it off, dried off and dressed in a black tank and soft linen grey shorts “where did these come from?” I said to myself. Not expecting a response, i jumped when i heard a chuckle come from my bedroom.

“I found the tailor”

I walked into my room to see kylo sat on my bed wearing nothing but his low waisted leather trousers.

“About time” i joked. Was this man seriously trying to kill me?

“I hope you don’t mind the intrusion, i was just myself getting ready for bed when your memories came to me, i saw your master and i wanted to ask about him.” This made me gulp, if I wasn’t nervous at him, i was nervous at those words.

“What about him?”

“I have only heard stories of a man like him, he was killed by the jedi Kenobi.” I shook my head.

“Darth Maul didn’t die that day”

“What?!” He stood up, clearly shocked. “Well when did he die?”

“I’m not sure really, he was rescued by my mother and brought home where he received new legs.” Kylo sat again and gestured for me to sit next to him, I couldn’t refuse. I sat and crossed my legs before continuing.

“After a few months he started to go crazy and started asking his apprentices, including me, to go out and convert force users or jedi to the dark side, anyone that refused we had to bring him back their heads. I refused to do this because it made me feel sick to even think about killing, so he ordered my mother to freeze me in carbonite as both a punishment and a lesson to the other apprentices.”

“It was your mother that froze you?”

“The first time yeh, she even watched as i begged her to save me.” A tear rolled down my cheek but kylo brushed it away before it had chance to drop into my lap. “As they started to lower me in she shook her head and called me an embarrassment” kylo had no words, he just stared at me. “When i awoke, it had been years instead of months and instead of my master and mother unfreezing me it was someone much scarier”

“Scarier than darth maul?”

“Very scary, he wore a mask and breathed very loudly, as a 17 year old girl who had grown up with darkness her whole life i should have expected darkness be the one to wake me up but Vader was darker than dark” he stiffened when i said Vader but ignored it and continued.

“Darth Vader had heard of my being frozen and had set out to find me. He thought i would be a great asset to him after my life training with darth maul and so to Vader made me an apprentice. I never saw battle, Vader thought i was his secret weapon and so kept me hidden until my 21st name-day.”

“What happened?”

“I was asked to track down and retrieve Luke.” Kylo seemed amused.

“You defied darth maul by singing and being kind and you defied darth Vader by refusing to track down Luke Skywalker?”

“Oh i never refused to track skywalker, i just didnt find him in time. I crash landed on a distant planet where it took me nearly three years to find new parts for my ship. I tried to make contact with Vader only to run out of fuel and once again be stranded, where i heard of Luke defeating Vader and starting his own jedi academy.”

“And so you decided to join the light side?” Once again he seemed amused by this.

“Not straight away, i made the choice after a month or two of freedom, so on my 24th name-day, i set off to once again find Luke Skywalker.”

“That’s quite the journey” he seemed impressed, i tried and failed to stiffen a yawn, it was definitely late by now. “Do you want me to leave?”

“Don’t you dare” i smirked.

During my story we had both manoeuvred ourselves to lying side by side, i took advantage of this and rolled to put my head on his chest. I was warm and safe for the first time in a long time and soon enough i was asleep.


End file.
